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Toxic Relationships: Red Flags, Power Dynamics, and How to Heal with Kate Mageau

Sunday Sep 28, 2025

Toxic relationships chip away at safety, power, and self-trust. In this direct conversation, licensed therapist and author Kate Mageau breaks down early red flags (mocking framed as “teasing,” coercive control, financial dependence), the role of power dynamics, and practical first steps to leave and rebuild. We cover emotional abuse, the cycle of violence, boundaries, and what thriving actually looks like after toxicity—choice, safety, and freedom. If you’ve wondered whether it’s “just ups and downs” or a pattern, this episode gives clear criteria and next moves. 

About the Guest:

Kate Mageau is a licensed therapist and author of Rose-Colored Glasses and The Healing from Toxic Relationships Workbook. After leaving her own toxic marriage, she helps people identify red flags, understand abuse dynamics, and build healthy, equitable relationships through therapy, education, and practical tools.

Key Takeaways:

• Red flags often hide as “teasing.” If jokes consistently leave you feeling small, unsafe, or excluded from the joke, it’s emotional harm—not humor.

• Power dynamics are the litmus test. Healthy relationships share decision-making and freedom; toxic ones centralize control and require permission for everyday choices.

• Emotional abuse erodes self-esteem. Over time, you may believe you deserve less or must “tough it out,” especially under cultural or religious pressure to stay.

• Financial abuse is common. Limited access to money can trap partners. If safe, build a private emergency fund and seek advocacy resources for shelter and planning.

• Education reduces shame. Learning the cycle of violence and control tactics reframes the past and clarifies patterns, enabling safer future choices.

• First steps when depleted: rebuild micro-trust with yourself (eat, shower, rest), then add supportive people—friends, therapists, support groups, advocacy agencies.

• Can toxic relationships be repaired? Generally, no. Sustainable change requires genuine desire and accountability; statistically, rehabilitation is rare.

• Thriving after toxicity: reclaim choice, set firm boundaries, and pursue relationships where you feel safe—emotionally and physically. Trust can return with skills and support.

• One clarifying question: “Do I feel safe, equal, and free to make my own choices in this relationship?”

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Listen to the Podcast here: https://pleasureprinciples.podbean.com/e/toxic-relationships-red-flags-power-dynamics-and-how-to-heal-with-kate-mageau/

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Read Rose Colored Glasses and the Healing from Toxic Relationships Workbook!